The Ministry Of Cartoons

What is it about Japan? Don't get me wrong; I bear no grudge for previous military actions, nor do I carry [I think anyway] any prejudice against Japanese people. But some days, I just don't "get it". Take their TV game shows [if you never have seen some of the more unusual examples, search YouTube. It'll be worth your time, I promise]; better yet, explain this:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080319/ap_on_fe_st/odd_japan_cartoon_ambassador.

[I'm not exactly sure what "overseas safety" means to Japan, but it seems only appropriate to begin this report with an image of the nation's Ambassador for Overseas Safety, Astro Boy. For those unaware, he starred in a cartoon series for much of the 60's, went into a period of decline, and has since been "rehabilitated", to the point that a live-action version of his adventures is in the works. Who knew?]

As much of the World's loopiness does, it got me thinking. Why not use cartoon characters to serve in political offices? They're probably at least as amusing as the humans they'd be replacing. As cartoon stars, they are already known in other countries. Nowadays, only a few cartoons are made each year, so they're available. Therefore, without further ado, This Page's nominees for key ambassador roles [subject to Congressional approval]:

Ambassador for World Financial Issues: The Politics Of Cartoons requires conflict; therefore, one party [oh, let's call them, say, Democrats] nominates:

beloved icon Daffy Duck. He is a coward. But he's a greedy coward. Who better to talk up American financial interests on the International stage? Well, the other party [Republicans, perhaps?] suggests:

Donald Duck [no relation]. The GOP praises his years of work with Conservative business icon Scrooge McDuck, and sees him as an aggressive defender of "the American Way of Life"...

Ambassador for Peace: The Dems bring their power hitter up to the plate:

perhaps an odd choice at first, given his history of "cartoon violence" in the movies. On his behalf, though, he is usually not the first animated character in the scene to throw a punch, he tries to solve most problems with conversation, and, when war needs to be declared, he verifies that the Other Combatant is aware of the circumstances before taking any action.

Bosh, say the Reps, who offer:

Mickey Mouse, star of his own cartoon series for the past 80 years! [although any creature who would happily wear that tuxedo has a major problem, stardom or not] Mickey's reputation of "going along" with what Whoever-In-Charge comes up with may make approval "problematic", despite the benefits he brings to the table [In a related story, rumors that Yogi Bear may end up replacing Smokey T. Bear as Ambassador for Fire Safety could not be confirmed as of publishing time].

-Mike Riley [filling in for Foghorn Leghorn]