...just what we need...the Fear Index...

Having been born and raised in Buffalo, NY, and living now in the nearby city of Niagara Falls, there are two things I am expected to be an expert at: losing the championship of the National Football League [see Super Bowls XXV-XXVIII, inclusive], and snow.

While "the streak" is a matter of public record, Buffalo's rep as the Snow Capitol Of America might be a little mis-guided. No one in this area would deny that it snows a lot around here [just over 74 inches of the white stuff last winter]. But that 74.1 inches would be good only for seventh place on last winter's tote board. Buffalo wasn't even the most snow-covered spot in New York State; Syracuse, as it usually does, topped the State roster; it also finished first in the National Snow Bowl with a mind-boggling 106.1 inches of semi-solid precipitation [it's said the Innuit people of the Arctic have more than 200 words for snow. Why is there never an Innuit person available when you need one?].

The difference comes in the area of snow removal. Since the "perfect storm" Blizzard of 1977, blamed for the deaths of 23 people, Buffalo and its surrounding cities seem to have taken a vow that they will never be shut down again as they were in that season [Ironicaly, the average amount of snow that fell was only about a foot, an unusually high amount for one storm, but by no means as crippling in itself as this blizzard turned out to be. The difference was the strong winds that built up drifts as high as three feet in more than a few locations.].

If you were one of many thousands stranded by last month's storm, or are currently cooling your heels in an airport hundreds of miles from where you want to be, curse the lack of equipment and training most airports have. Buffalo's is equipped with state-of-the-art plows and other specialized devices. Airport staffs from around the world come in during storms to watch the Buffalo crew clean up [and presumably, to take notes].

This got me thinking; because of the Blizzard of '77, the Buffalo area has committed large amounts of money to ensure quick snow clearance. Other areas, I would guess, make preparations based on the difficulties they most fear: I would think San Francisco, for example, spends large amounts on earthquake preparedness, while Florida would probably spend heavily on hurricane cleanup equipment and training. It would be a simple mathematic process [not for me, for real statiticians] to calculate what frightens any area in the world by figuring out which area of disaster preparation it spends the most on, exclusive of police and fire prevention and extinguishing [although both would likely enter into a community's disaster preparation expenses]. Anyone interested in finding out the paranoia triggers in their local is free to use this concept, without credit to me [as a matter of fact, the less you mention me in this process, the better]. The only thing I would ask is that the title The Fear Index be used for this process. Let's at least keep the name simple and explanatory...

-Mike Riley

Puhleeze, Mr. Postman!

In the interest of full disclosure; one of my uncles was, for many years, employed by the U S Post Office, the government-run mail-delivery service superseded in recent years by, among other things, the U S Postal Service, private delivery services, cheaper phone rates, the Internet, ...well, you get the idea. The point is, the Postal Service has fallen on hard times [I imagine a similar crisis ran through the whale-oil industry, once electricity became commonplace in American homes]. Still, I can't come up with a sane explanation for the story I'm about to tell [a true one, by all accounts. You can't make this stuff up, and frankly, given the state of Earth just now, why bother?]

The U S Postal Service has a noble heritage; born as the Post Office, in the earliest days of the Republic, it strives to live up to the words of ancient Greek historian and traveller Herodotus: "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds". This matter refers to that first impediment - snow. I have spent every one of my 51 winters in a snowy climate; most of them spent here in Western New York state. I point this out to demonstrate that, based on experience, I know snow [despite having a reasonably successful pro hockey team, an active basketball scene, skiing, snowboarding, tubing, as well as the defending champions of the National Lacrosse League, the true winter sport in Western New York is "trying to live as normal a life as possible despite all this snow, wind, and cold". And baby, we are the champions!].

Anyway, as winters go, the current one has been a little on the harsh side: very cold, lots of ice on the sidewalks and streets, and a good deal of snow. In areas where snow falls, usually property owners are responsible for clearing the hazard from sidewalks, either themselves, or by hire. Lawns, as you'd probably guess, are not required to be cleared. What, then, to make of the case of a U S Postal Service postman, who received a written reprimand from his superiors for using shovelled sidewalks during his route, instead of cutting across unshovelled [and snow-laden] lawns?

It's not that the unnamed postal employee [somehow, I suspect there's a statue somewhere with that name] was failing to deliver mail, or excluding homes that hadn't shovelled their walks. Apparently, the Postal Service wants its delivery persons to do their routes as quickly as possible, so that one person can do the work, say, of one-and-a-half, at the same rate. A supervisor watched our mailman in secret, then issued the rebuke.

The union that has jurisdiction over postal carriers is, well, disgruntled, claiming that the whole thing is nothing more than pressure tactics by management. Residents in the area this mailman serves [suburban Buffalo] think he's done nothing wrong, noting that they would do the same in his position. Indeed, given the eight-to-nine-inch tall snow drifts covering many lawns in the neighborhood, what else could he do?

Yes, I know the Postal Service is scrambling for every buck it can find. But when common sense gets thrown down the mail chute, into the bottom of the mail sack, you kind of wonder what the point of saving a small amount comes down to. No wonder these people "go postal"! (By the way, does that kind of thing happen in other countries? I can think of a few examples of it happening here, but not elsewhere. If anyone knows of a "postal employee going postal" story from outside the US, please let us known in the "Comments" section) I'd like to think that my uncle, who worked his way up the ladder from mail sorter to postal inspector, wouldn't get himself involved in such a mess...

-Mike Riley