Summer Madness

No, no, not that Summer [Donna Summer, in case you're unaware]!!!









Yes, that Summer [the season, not the Queen of Disco]. Here in the Northern Hemisphere, our warm-weather bacchanals are almost over. We're already having nighttime lows of around 50 degrees F here in Western New York State, and it's just a matter of time before the daytime highs drop below that. Of course, our loss is the Southern Hemisphere's gain, as South America, Africa, Oceania, and the other parts of the world below the Equator get their "Seasons In The Sun".




Hopefully, you got more out of your summer [or will get more, if you're a proud Southern Hemispherer] than I did. For some reason, I didn't get much of anywhere or do much of anything. Now, The Woman I Love got out to Oklahoma for a conference, but Yours Truly got no farther than outside our local casino, to see Joan Jett in a free show [pretty good, by the bye. Of course, that was just last weekend...].





Let's see now; any big trends from the Summer just ending? America - a land sick of politics [these elections seem to have peaked too early, unless Candidate "A" or Candidate "B" self-destructs in some truly spectacular manner. We can only hope]. Big Summer Song: Sweet Home Alaba-no, Werewolves Of Lon - no, it's really All Summer Long - Kid Rock's heavy-handed homage to the above songs, as well as an admission that K-Rock's adolescence wasn't really any more interesting than yours or mine. Except that he got some. Olympic Athlete That Those Who Prefer The Male Anatomy Would Most Like To Get Some From; Michael Phelps, in a walk-over [that swimmer's physique is an acquired taste, but a joy forever. Or so I'm told...].





Then again, even those who actually did stuff this Summer are pikers, compared to the brave folk of Finland, where everything is a Summer festival. (Poor, sad Denmark, settling for the "Kicking Vanilla Ice Cream" championship! Now, a "Kicking Vanilla Ice" competition, that would bring in the crowds!)






Is there a moral to all this? Well, there's still time to get out and enjoy what's left of Summer [or to plan ahead if, once again, you're in the Southern Hemisphere]. And, since Winter is the longest-lasting season around here [some years, it seems like forever], there's plenty of time to fill your dance card [I've actually been invited to review a marital aid. You can't imagine my anticipation...]. Anyway, get out of the house, and get some fresh air, whydoncha?


-Mike Riley

No Sudden Moves

Okay. I've taken a few days to relax [what the Hell was that noise? Is someone out there?]. I've taken as many deep breaths as I can without bringing on [where's that flash of light from?] dizziness.I've even kept away from all those [who is that out there?] "conspiracy theory" blogs. Despite my paranoid theories to the contrary, Blogger does not seem to be targeting my blog for its dreaded editing spiders [For several minutes at a time now, I even believe that they don't have editing spiders]. I still don't know what caused the "masking" of passages in this blog [see previous post for all the paranoiac ramblings], but, based on the sane [-sounding] words of reassurance [especially from Deb, who probably would be censored if anyone I know would], Blogger does not censor, nor does it edit [That asserted, I would love to know what happened. If anyone from Google is reading this, first, I bow down to our earthly masters and, two, what is that all about, anyway?].

Like many disillusioned blog-meisters, I've re-done my site [more changes to come, I suspect], did some preliminary sniffing at a WordPress site [I don't know enough xhtml to switch], then decided to throw in the towel and make peace with Blogger. It may be an uneasy peace on both sides, but awkward rest is better than no rest at all.

On a totally unrelated matter; what is the big deal about women table-tennis players? I'm referring to a campaign by the International Association that oversees the sport, trying to get its top stars to dress, shall we say, more sexily [as a healthy, card-carrying male, of course the prospect is appealing. But shouldn't that be up to the individual players to decide for themselves?]. The Powers That Be in table tennis, seeing the skirts worn in traditional tennis and, in recent years, badminton [not to mention the uniforms of choice in beach volleyball], decided that tarting up their women players will bring a few more male viewers into the tent. Except for the fact that the plan will probably work, as a man I'd be insulted! Let it be noted, though: during one of the women's track events this past week, one of the runners was from the Muslim nation of Bahrain. She wore a traditional track suit, of course - over a white-colored garment that covered her entire body except for her head and feet. I don't remember where she finished [not in the top 3], but I remember the outfit, both as a reflection of her religious beliefs, and as distinctive track garb. Maybe table tennis should go for the "mystery" factor; cover 'em up, and let your fans fantasise all they want!

-Mike Riley

An Open Letter To My Readers

Readers and Friends-



First of all, my sincere apologies for what happened to last weekend's scheduled contest. The topic announcement [previous post] had some series issues, which I will address shortly. Possible participants may have been driven away by the confusing nature of the post as published. Others, who may have somehow pieced out the meaning, may have considered the topic "Why I ride side-saddle" beneath contempt [actually, it came from a 50's American TV show with a similar concept]. At any rate, there were no entries. No entries - no prize.Sorry. Please understand that none of this was my intention.

Since this happened, I've been trying to figure out what went wrong. Here's what I've come up with so far:

-the contest was poorly conceived. Very possible. It certainly wasn't set up like most contests of late. There was no required series of things to do to acquire "points". But there was a reason for that. I wanted a contest that didn't require you to do things you really didn't want to do. Hey, I'd love it if you subscribe to this feed. But only if you're really interested in reading it, and don't want to miss any posts. Otherwise, it's just "invited spam" and, quite frankly, who needs it? Is it really possible that people prefer jumping through hoops to doing a bit of creative writing? Another question I've been mulling over. The jury is still out on that one.

-it was poorly publicised. Again, very possible. One thing that requiring contestants to blog about the contest does is to spread the word quickly. And certainly anyone could have written about it if they so chose. But it was not a requirement, and, looking back, I don't think I'd make it one even now.

-did running a contest on my blog violate some arcane Blogger regulation? Uncertain, but I doubt it. I don't know anyone who carefully reads every word of the Blogger rules before creating a blog. I know I didn't. If that is the case, my bad. Again, sorry.

That's what I've got so far. I'm sure there are other factors that may occur to me, as I replay the events in my mind. But there is one element that I didn't have total control over that may have contributed to this fiasco; the incomplete nature of the topic announcement post. Here, I frankly have no idea. I sent it as a "scheduled post", only to discover that, in its published form, certain portions were masked [that is, some of the post appears invisible. If you want to read it, just mouse over the blank sections while holding down the left mouse button]. This happened to me once before, a couple of years ago. You can look into the matter at: http://aftermidnightpage.blogspot.com/search/label/%22censored%22%20entry. To be very honest, I'm still not exactly sure what happened there. And, while I'll admit that parts of that post [not the masked parts, oddly enough] touched on sensitive issues of different religions, I've yet to figure out how a contest announcement fits into such categories.

Blogger has said on more than one occasion that it does not censor posts. Okay, why were these posts "edited"? There is probably somewhere to go to get a clarification, but I've yet to figure out where. I tried Blogger Help Group, but the only answer there says it was probably "Satan". Now, I do believe in the existence of that being. But I also believe his plate is a bit too full to worry about blog contests [unless he's running an EC scam on the side].

So, now what? I don't know. Right about now, I don't know if I want to bother with any of this. Maybe I should move from Blogger. I just don't know. But I did feel you deserved an explanation. I'm sure I'll be back. I just don't know when...

-Perplexed, a.k.a. Mike Riley

IRON BLOGGER Topic Announcement

Well, it's time. On behalf of everyone involved in the IRON BLOGGER Organizing Team [just me, actually, but it looks more impressive if we pretend there's an army running this thing], welcome to the Iron Blogger Topic Announcement! If you're just finding out about all this check this link for rules: http://aftermidnightpage.blogspot.com/2008/08/iron-blogger-contest-update.html. Now without further ado, we turn things over to the creator of Iron Blogger, Japanese industrialist Honda Suzuki.

If memory serves me right, there was an American game show in the 1950's. Its premise was very similar to this contest. Contestants [celebrities, usually] were given a topic, and asked to speak extemporaneously for 90 seconds on the subject. In that spirit, we humbly select a topic from that program, as our challenge subject for this competition. Before I present the topic, let me send best wishes to all our participants. Here is the topic for the first Iron Blogger Competition:

"Why I ride side-saddle".

Thank you, Mr. Suzuki. Ladies and gentlemen, the competition is now open, and will remain so until midnight on Sunday, August 17th, US Eastern Daylight Time. The winner will be announced on Friday, August 22nd. Good luck to all, and strive for the People's Ovation!

-Mike Riley

Triumph Of The Will

There is an episode of "The Simpsons" where Springfield is hosting a film festival. Everyone in town, it seems, is putting a short film together to enter. That includes money-man extraordinaire Montgomery Burns. He calls in his principle minion, Mr. Smithers, and orders him to hire Steven Spielberg. Smithers replies that Spielberg is just plain unavailable [even Monty Burns' money has a limit]. Okay, Mr. Burns replies, get his non-union Mexican equivalent, Senior Spielbergo.

When the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics were in their early planning stages, the Olympic Committee had the services of the genuine Spielberg. Then, owing to China's frankly disturbing politics, he withdrew. But, like Monty Burns, the organizers had a substitute in mind. His name is Zhang Yimou [right], a noted film director himself. One of the commentators on TV noted that the Opening Ceremonies had the look of Zhang creating a cinematic spectacle with a truly unlimited budget. The exact amount spent for Friday night's presentation is no doubt a State secret, but let it be said; whatever was spent on those ceremonies, the Chinese Olympic Committee truly got its money worth, if not more. I don't think I will ever forget watching the last Torch bearer lifted to the rim of the Bird's Nest stadium, there to "run" the length of the stadium [see "Video Of The Week", below right], before lighting a previously hidden cauldron, made to look like the torches each runner in the Relay had carried [one wonders if using a giant torch might remind viewers of the controversy that surrounded the relay. Sports and politics are uncomfortable companions, no matter how important the cause that motivates the protest].

The lighting of the Olympic flame has become more and more an art form. I remember the archer, firing a flaming arrow at Barcelona, Muhammad Ali battling his Parkinson's disease to fire the bowl in Atlanta. It has become, truly, a beautiful moment. But I wonder how many people remember the story of how the torch Relay began. We really don't know whether or not the ancients used a relay as part of their ceremonies [although fire was certainly involved in the rites; after all, the events were of a religious nature, and fire is a part of almost every culture's most basic ceremonies]. The first few Games of the modern era had no relay. So where did it come from?

The truth is that Nazi Germany created the ritual, as part of the events leading up to the 1936 Berlin Games. Whatever else can be said about Hitler's empire of madness, let it be noted that it was expert at ritual. It is fair to say that the Chinese have re-mastered the arts of symbolism, of rites and regalia. And lately, I have noticed that America has begun to develop a taste for such presentations, as did ancient Rome. And I wonder what the future will say about the quality of our rituals.

-Mike Riley

Iron Blogger Contest Update

Ya know, I've got to learn more about contests before trying to run one! First, I have to remember to put the announcement at the beginning of the post, not the end [is it possible that My Fellow Bloggers don't read all of an entry when they reach the site? Or, even worse, is this another of those "We did read it, Mike; we just don't give a rat's ass" moments?]. Anyway, let's try this again, this time with special effects:

[Re-] ANNOUNCING THE FIRST [here anyway] IRON BLOGGER COMPETITION!

The format is deceptively simple: at Midnight [US Eastern Daylight Time], August 15th, a topic will be posted at this site. It may be serious or frivolous [but remember, this is classified as a "humor" blog]. All entrants will have until Midnight [US Eastern Daylight Time] on August 18th to post a 250-word [maximum; no minimum] essay on the Mystery Topic. They should be posted as "Comments" to the topic announcement post. Art or photos may be included, if you feel they will help your cause. And what are we playing for, Johnny Olsen?

ONE THOUSAND ENTRECARD CREDITS!

[I mean, the contest is open to any blogger, but, since the prize is EC credits, non-EC'ers may not be as interested. I can understand that...] The winner will also receive the as-yet-to-be-designed:

IRON BLOGGER CHAMPION BADGE!

Back to you, Mike!
Thanks, Johnny! I am always amazed at how cheaply dead announcers work. Some of you may be wondering why this contest, now [I know I am]. Well, it's Summer [in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway], it's hot, and I'M BORED! When you're bored, weird ideas run in and out of your head, and, well, this one made as much sense as any other one. By the way, you're not obliged to blog about this contest, link back to this post, or subscribe to this blog to win. But, if you can at least tell your friends about it, I'd appreciate it. Now, the fine print:

RULES -

1. / THE "IRON BLOGGER COMPETITION" WILL TAKE PLACE THE WEEKEND OF AUGUST 15TH, 2008. THE COMPETITION TOPIC WILL BE POSTED ON AUGUST 15TH, AT 12 MIDNIGHT [US EASTERN DAYLIGHT TIME]. ENTRIES WILL BE ACCEPTED IMMEDIATELY FROM THE POSTING TIME, UNTIL MIDNIGHT [US EASTERN DAYLIGHT TIME] AUGUST 18TH. ALL ENTRIES RECEIVED AFTER THAT TIME ARE DISQUALIFIED.

2. / ENTRIES SHOULD BE SUBMITTED AS "COMMENTS" TO THE TOPIC ANNOUNCEMENT POST.

3. / ENTRIES MAY CONTAIN NO MORE THAN 250 WORDS; ENTRIES LONGER THAN 250 WORDS ARE DISQUALIFIED. ARTWORK AND PHOTOS MAY BE SUBMITTED AS PART OF THE ENTRY, BUT DO NOT COUNT TOWARDS THE WORD TOTAL.

4. / EACH ENTRY SHOULD INCLUDE, EITHER AT THE BEGINNING OR END, AN E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR USE OF CONTACTING THE WINNER. IF AN ENTRANT WISHES, S/HE MAY CREATE A "JUNK MAIL" ADDRESS FOR NOTIFICATION PURPOSES. LORD KNOWS, THERE ARE ENOUGH SITES OUT THERE THAT OFFER E-MAIL.

5. / AT THE SOLE DISCRETION OF THE JUDGE [MIKE RILEY], FURTHER PRIZES MAY BE AWARDED. HOWEVER, THERE IS NO GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL TAKE PLACE.

6. / ONLY ONE ENTRY PER PERSON WILL BE ACCEPTED.

7. / ALL DECISIONS OF THE JUDGE ARE FINAL. THE "NO CRYBABY" RULE IS IN EFFECT. AFTER ALL, PEOPLE, IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S MONEY ON THE LINE!

8. / THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR.

9. / GOOD LUCK TO ALL.

-Mike Riley

Dog Days

My sincere apologies for not getting back here sooner, but it's just been too damn hot and humid around here. In most of the US, these days are known as the "dog days" of Summer. I've heard it explained as everything from feeling warm as a long haired dog on a hot day, to the position of the Dog Star in the sky. Personally, I think it's because we all just want to sleep under a cool table, or porch, if we're fortunate.

Another sign of summer blogging; large photos, drawings, etc. Why? To take up as much space as decently possible without actually having to fill it with THOUGHT-OUT COMMENT [actually, I didn't want you to miss the caption here. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself]!

Actually, 99% of all blog posts fall into the category of "pointless, incessant barking" [including this one], but the heat is making me cranky. So why don't I just complain about things I've noticed on blogs lately. You can jump in if you wish:

Blogs with music - It's not that I dislike music. I just don't want to be startled from my contemplative mood by some useless pop song from another country [America will always lead the world in the production of useless pop songs, dammit. I've never been prouder to be an American than when I remember that ]. If you MUST demonstrate your taste in music, how about letting the visitor decide whether or not to be so entertained? And turn those mp3's down, please!

"Trojan horse" blogs - I first noticed this trend earlier this year. You arrive at a blog, then, seconds after you've started to read a post, it changes into an ad. Come on, monetizers! That kind of sales strategy is going to cost you more potential sales than it's ever going to get you.

The next two complaints are related to Entrecard users; if you're not into the card game, please ignore these gripes:

No EC widget - Very annoying, especially for those of us who try to reciprocate drops. It seems somehow unethical to pick up credits from my site, but not allow me to do the same. EC needs to get a handle on this [along with other violations of EC rules].

Ad disclaimers - No, I'm not talking about those who notify their readers that they may be getting paid to blog on this or that [that kind of candor is appropriate]. I'm referring to people who say, near their EC widget, something like m"Ads selected by Entrecard. Not responsible for content". Last time I checked, people, all blog proprietors had the option to accept or reject any ad they chose to, for whatever reason they chose to give. If such matters are truly important to you, check your advertisers' blogs. If not, take the credits and move on. False piety may be the most annoying kind of all.

****************************************************************************

Okay, you've let me yammer. You should have the chance for a reward. I've got one thousand EC credits I'd like to get rid of. Here's how I'm going to do it: all readers of this blog, along with anyone who hears about it from friends, etc, is invited to participate in the first IRON BLOGGER COMPETITION [the first one here, anyway]. The rules are simple; one week from this Friday [on August 15th], a topic will be posted at this site. You will have the weekend to write up to 250 words on the topic. (Those responses will be submitted in the form of "comments" to the topic post.) If you feel some photo or artwork will help your chances, you are free to use them. The cutoff time will be Monday, August 18th, at 12 Midnight [US Eastern Daylight Time]. Any late entries, along with those posts that are more than 250 words, will be disqualified. In addition to the credits, the winner will be awarded the soon-to-be-prestigious IRON BLOGGER BADGE [I'm still designing it, but it should be funky]. Can I be bribed? Probably not, but I'm willing to listen to any offers...

-Mike Riley

Drawing A Line In The Dirt

I hate to know this about myself, but I am more than capable of John Wayne moments. You know, the scene in the movie where the Duke has listened to the ranch owners snowballing the town folks about how they need the freedom to do what's best for the growing town. Wayne takes that stance, arms crossed over his chest, then says something like, "Like Hell you're going to do that". I feel ol' Marion Morrison coming on just now...

Recently, during the run-up to the affiliation with SezWho, I received an e-mail, sent by [at least allegedly] Graham. He wanted to post to this blog,running an article entitled "Top 10 Reasons Why the Entrecard-[SezWho] Partnership Rocks For Bloggers". He said he'd rather not run it on the in-house blog, believing it couldn't handle the increased traffic the post would bring to the site [Really? Who knew?]. He pointed out that the article would be Dugg, StumbledUpon, and in general sought out by many EC'ers curious to hear the Front Office's take on the whole matter.

Understand: I agreed with most of Graham's positives about his post running here. And I certainly didn't object to hosting his post in theory. But I did have an issue or two. The fact that, around that time, EC's own forums were subject to subjective editing made me question Graham's reason for moving his article here. Also, I have some special feelings about this site. It's the longest-lasting of my blogs. It's the blog I have reserved for personal opinions on some sensitive issues [along with some badly-written comedy]. So, not wishing Graham's deathless prose HERE, I offered him space in one of my other blogs: "the blog lab". I had addressed Entrecard issues on several occasions there, and felt [still feel] it was a more appropriate venue for such a piece. I never heard back from Graham. Shortly afterward, the post ran on another site. Fair enough. The post was Graham's to move to whichever site he wished. No hard feelings.

In recent days, there have been "teaser" announcements about upcoming "big" news. And, as happened in the days before the SW agreement was finalized, the censorship machine has been turned on again. An unknown number of sites have been booted off EC. A common thread running through most of them is a growing dissatisfaction with Entrecard. No one denies that anyone who operates a business has a fundamental right to carry on his or her operations in any way that seems proper, and violates no law. But I'd guess that the potential new dance partners are not stupid. They certainly are seeing the controversy, the turmoil at EC just now. (By the bye, a rhetorical question: is it wise to work on another "affiliation", while technical issues with the previous one [SW] remain unresolved? In a recent 'blog lab' posting, I stated that the technical issues with several platforms, especially Blogger, needed to be addressed ASAP. SezWho, to its credit, sent a reply through a representative. They acknowledged the problem, and basically hoped I'd hang in while the issues were worked out. Fair enough. At least SW accepted the criticism. EC seems most likely to sweep such legitimate complaints under the rug, or, worse, punish those who bring those complaints forward.

But that's really not what has me worked up. In recent days, I've seen posts on a few sites offering at least an acceptance born of fear. These bloggers said things like, "Watch what you say", or "Entrecard must have been right in punishing these bloggers". Everyone has the right to their opinion, but these posts sound, in their own way, like the sort of thing we're seeing coming out of the People's Republic of China in the run-up to the Olympics: the lid has to stay on, the control has to remain in place. Folks, we're all a little paranoid. But when a blogger's "comfort zone" is so compromised by an entity that they feel the need to defend such practices, it's time to stand up for our fellow posters' rights.

I'll be curious to see what happens over the next few days. Either way, I hope you'll keep coming back. I need an audient [singular of "audience"].

-Mike Riley