Requium For A Thriller

"It's close to midnight..."

...actually, around 11:30 pm in the Eastern United States, where I write from. Michael Jackson passed from this world a little less than six hours ago. Already, the culture vultures are descending; a mob scene formed around the Los Angeles hospital where he was brought, and pronounced dead. Already, canny marketers are mounting tickets from his now never-to-be-presented 50-show tour on plaques, ready to be sold on e-Bay [as similarly quick-thinking people did when Elvis died]. Already, the circus has descended. Then again, was there ever time that Jackson's life wasn't a circus?

Child of a father who reputedly beat him, and from whom he was estranged as quickly as he could be. A major performer, in the Jackson 5 with his brothers, at a time most children are just learning multiplication and division. A superstar around the world before he was really mature enough to understand just what that would entail.For a time, he truly was what the hype named him - The King Of Pop. He could dance, he could write songs, he could help craft the videos that made him one of the indelible images of his heyday. And yeah, he could sing.

Of course, the life of an icon is never that simple. There were the continual rumors: the charges of child molestation [does anybody think that Jackson ever really understood that what he was doing was wrong? How much time had he ever spent in normal life to get that kind of context?]; the plastic surgeries; the skin condition that drove him to bleach himself [which led to another whole series of questions about his sense of racial identity]; the leaked stories about his bizarre lifestyle [how could he know what was normal?]; at the end of the day, he had no escape from "the beast about to strike". Fame is a brutal creature...

R.I.P, Jakko. Emphasis on peace...

-Mike Riley

Twenty Years Later...

Sometimes, there's nothing more to add...


-Mike Riley

The Carnival Comes To Town!

I've been posting at this here address for nigh onto three years now. Sometimes the ideas and words flow like maple syrup from the trees at the end of Winter. Other times, not so much. To keep it interesting for You, the Reader [as well as, let's be honest, Me the Writer], I've been known to play around with this blog from time to time; everything from different blog designs, to different 125 x 125 card designs. My personal favorite of all of this was my 100th post, the now-semi-remembered Blog Roast [celebrating my 100th post and, as these sort of things frequently work out, actually being my 101st; oh, fudge...]; the biggest disaster, without question, was the infamous "Iron Blogger" [this post, a few days after the whole thing fell apart, gives the key points fairly well. By the bye, I still think the idea of a posting event based on a last-minute topic is a good one. I may yet come back to it; perhaps a competition for the most coherent explanation of the current "Video Of The Week" (see below, at right)].


I've since learned that the "approved" way to get lots of bloggers to write on the same topic is to announce a "carnival" [in most churches, when a carnival is announced, the Men's Group runs the beer tent, while the Ladies' Auxiliary ends up cooking most of the food. Your organization may do things differently, so your mileage will almost certainly vary]. Actually, the announcement was made in April, at the Bloggers Unite site. To be honest, the response to date has been somewhat less than overwhelming. Counting my post on the topic, four bloggers are in on it.
I'm not sure why the response to date has been so small: I mean, I've posted event badges at the BU site [including the attractive design at left]. I've put badges on my other blog [which link to the above-mentioned info]. Is it because I'm not awarding prizes? I don't think so, I've seen more than a few such events that didn't, and yet have good response. No, it's not up there with "World AIDS Day", "Human Rights Day", or even "World Wide Knit In Public Day" [actually, based on my bus-riding experiences, EVERY DAY is Knit In Public Day]. Still, between the people who actually blog in Canada and the United States, people from other countries that have visited one or both nations [and probably have an uplifting, humorous, or upliftingly humorous story to relate], or people who dream of visiting the US or Canada, there should be seven. maybe eight or nine participants ["carnivalists"? "carnivores"?] chomping at the proverbial bit!



Anyway, that's the deal. Bloggers Unite members should sign up there; non-members can post links in the "Comment" section after my July 1st posting on the topic. The ticket booth is open, get in now, before we get in double figures [I wish!], and you'll have to wait in line behind the cranky family pictured at right [I swear I saw both parents hit a child on the side of the head, just before the placid-looking image over there was snapped!]. It's just going to be easier on all of us, o.k.?

-Mike Riley

McBreasts

The Woman I Love and I went to Buffalo on business [dr. appt's] this morning. On the way, we saw a sign for a "gentleman's club"...

...no, not the gentleman's club pictured at right [if memory serves me right, one of the more famous clubs in 19th-Century London]...

...this kind of gentleman's club [for the unaware: "gentleman's club", in this context, refers to nightclubs where women strip down as far as local ordinances allow, then dance for an almost exclusively male audience. Not that there's anything wrong with that]. The sign referred to the club as being "world famous", and noted it would be open for business in a few months. Now, I'm not as "hip" as I once was, but I think this kind of situation is covered by the term "fail". "World famous" and "opening soon" don't seem to go together in the same sentence. When I pointed this out to TWIL, she said "Maybe it's a franchise".

A franchise? They franchise this sort of thing? Of course, the thought has crossed my mind before. Anyone who's been in more than one such place in a lifetime will note the similarities; poor lighting, over-priced drinks, [mostly] unenthusiastic "dancers" [for some reason, most of said performers around here are advertised as being "from Montreal". It turns out that I'd gone to grade school with a couple of them, and I certainly did not attend grade school anywhere in the Canadian province of Quebec], even the disinfectant [strawberry-scented] used to "freshen" the places seems the same from locale to locale.

I guess my next question is: where do they sell these franchises? Do they have a booth at traditional franchise fairs, sharing space with Mrs. Fields' cookies and Stanley Steemer carpet cleaning offers? Or does one have such a deal presented as an "opportunity" in the back room of such establishments? I'm really not looking [even if I were, who could afford such a business?], but I admit to a mildly-unhealthy curiosity about the whole thing.

Come to think of it, just what does one get with such a franchise? I know traditional franchises usually include a name, a list of "standards" that the franchisee is supposed to maintain, tips on operating the business, and generic advertising, which can then be tailored to the home city of the new operation. (I can just picture some of the advertising: "fine print" phrases like "Breast size is based on weight, not volume. Contents may have settled". Or headlines like, "You deserve the b[r]e[a]st!". Let's face it, it's 90 % of what most guys go to these places for.)

For what it's worth, my favorite story about "Gentleman's clubs" involves a certain establishment in Pittsburgh, PA during the 1950's. The owner, under the laws of the time, was not allowed to open on Sundays. One Sunday, he noticed that a local TV station was running old short films featuring the Three Stooges. He found that the old films were quite popular, especially with children. Inspired, he brought the Stooges to the Steel City, featuring them in Sunday afternoon shows that were open to families. He is said to have made a fortune, and the appearances were instrumental in reviving the Stooges' career. In another surprise, did you know that one of the "Stooges" who replaced Curly Howard actually had a "no touch" clause in his contract? Moe and Larry could gesture towards him, abuse him verbally, but no touching! A "Stooge" you couldn't hit? That's like a gentleman's club without...well, you know.

-Mike Riley

"He really oozed machismo on that double axle, Dick"

[Long-time followers of professional wrestling will probably remember the reference to Razor Ramon, one of several personas used by Scott Hall during his long and troubled career. As Ramon, he was said to "ooze machismo". Personally, I think he just needed a shampoo with a better pH balance.] But what brings up the allusion to RR is not an examination of such traditionally "manly" pursuits as wrestling [and, please, let's not open up that closet!], but the athletic event known as...

...men's figure skating. Yeah, figure skating. It all started with some discussions by Skate Canada, which, as the principal figure skating organization north of the 49th Parallel, will have some influence over such matters at next year's Winter Olympics, to be held in Vancouver, BC. Apparently, Canada, unlike most other countries in the world, has seen lower TV ratings for its coverage of men's figure skating. SkateCanada postulates that the lower ratings are due to the image that male skaters bring to the rink; namely, and both they and I are trying to dance around the shorthand phrases that could cut this paragraph in half, the impression that male skaters may come off as effeminate because of their flashy costumes [after all, no one calls what hockey players wear a "costume", do they?]. If I understand their thinking rightly, the less-than-macho look is a real turn-off to manly men who might otherwise watch the athletic moves of the skaters [and if I've offended anyone by this explanation, I am truly sorry. I did the best I could].

Intrigued by this [it was a slow weekend, people], I did a little research on the matter. For instance, here we have a photo of American figure skating champion Dick Buttons, probably taken some time in the late 1940's - early 1950's. As you can see, he's wearing an outfit something like a "dress" naval uniform. Going on my admittedly weak memory, I seem to remember that most male skaters through the late 1960's wore either this look, or something like a regular business suit [with the jacket shortened, of course, to allow for more ease of movement]. The only "flash" in the costumes were the gold buttons that usually decorated them.

Then, during the 1970's, new fabrics [Spandex, for instance] allowed for more form-fitting designs. In the 80's and 90's, as Andrew Harmon points out in this overview article from the LA Times, things got so out of hand that judges were instructed to deduct points for overly "theatrical" garb. With the new Millennium, however, and the scoring scandal that came out of the 2002 Winter Games, "Anything goes" seems to be the only rule [although the scandal had nothing to do with costumes]. Ironically, the garb worn by Will Ferrell and Jon Heder in Blades Of Glory [at right] comes off as almost "old school" by today's standards.

Maybe it's just me, but what I really think would boost men's skating is an infusion of personality, or at least a bit of longevity, among its stars. Michelle Kwan, Oksana Baiul, even little charmer Tonya Harding have more reality to them than any men's champion of recent years. Maybe a scandal could boost TV numbers. How about Canadian Elvis Stojko [who spent the weekend manfully trying to prop up the SkateCanada position and, it should be added, usually performs in outfits that aren't embarrassing to the male gender as a whole] taking a hockey stick to the kneecap of the American or Russian champ during the run-up to the Vancouver Games? Now that would boost the ratings!

-Mike Riley

Hunger And Hope [BloggersUnite]

• Sometimes the best way to begin is with a fact. Okay, here's one:
  
  
  
  In the year 2004, it was estimated that farming across the Earth already produces enough food to feed everyone on the planet - six billion, at that time. Indeed, the same statement added that twice that number - 12 billion - could be fed.
  
  -United Nations Food And Agricultural Organization
  
  
  
  Let your head try to wrap around that for a moment. We already have the resources that, if properly distributed, would once and for all end world hunger. Despite this, the UN estimates that 923-million people are hungry worldwide.
  
  
  
  Another fact:
  
  
  
  It's estimated that a person dies every second of every day from hunger, or diseases made worse by undernourishment. One in five of those who die is a child. That works out to 4,000 people an hour, 100,000 a day, 36 million people a year. More than half the deaths on Earth in a year can be attributed to hunger.
  
  - United Nations Food And Agricultural Organization
  
  
  
  Enough information for you? Well, how about a quote:
  
  "...[H]ope comes from just standing up"
  -Studs Terkel
  
  It's time to stand up. Stand up and work for those who are hungry. Yes, Big Government must be a part of the ultimate solution. But four thousand people this hour alone can't wait.
  
  

Below are links to a few groups that are fighting world hunger today. Look them over, then get involved if you wish. But remember that hunger may live up the street from you, or in the next block, or across the street from your best friend [then again, it could be your best friend...]. You probably know of groups near you that are helping to deal with hunger in your area. Support them as well, in body or spirit.

• The Heifer Project [Co-sponsoring today's BloggerUnite project]
• Action Against Hunger
• The Hunger Site [All you have to do here is click on an icon. It's worth about a cup of food. Couldn't be easier...]
• FeedingAmerica [formerly known as America's Second Harvest. Co-ordinating food bank resources across the US]
• The Hunger Project

There are certainly more groups than these. Find one [or more], then go to work...

-Mike Riley

10-Q

One thing that Anybody who's ever looked into such things can tell you, is that every day of the year has one or more events commemorated by it [for instance, according to the Mayan calendar pictured at left, December 20th, 2012 is a day that should be devoted to "serene contemplation of birds - their grace and calmness, even at times of difficult winds". The next day is "Run Around like A Chicken Whose Head Has Been Cut Off Day"]. The degree of ridiculousness attached to so many commemorations depends, in part, on how silly you find the event or group being celebrated. Which is an incredibly convoluted way [the only way I do things] to bring up the fact that today, April 16th, is Blog Reader Appreciation Day.

To the best of my knowledge, this is the first formal celebration of you at the other end of the Blogosphere. Personally, I think it's more than a little overdue. I can only speak for myself, but I'd at least like to think these little observations aren't just being filed away in a particularly dark corner of the Internet, only to be perused when I become President [or, more likely, when I become one of those unknown people who start firing rifles in a mall for no known reason]. The point is, I'd guess every blogger wants his/her words to be read, and enjoyed, by someone, somewhere, in the world. Hopefully, that someone is you.

While we're sharing with each other, Dear Reader, a favor; I don't expect it every time, and it's never a condition of reading this blog, but could you please leave a comment now and then, even if it's of the "You suck worse than anybody" variety? It's nice to be able to put a name, or maybe a face, to the people who actually take the time to stop by [especially helpful when compiling a list of malls to senselessly fire rifles in...].

The person who put Blog Reader Appreciation Day together suggests that posts on this day "thank and celebrate readers with special tributes...contests, and give-aways". I'll be brutally honest; I don't have much to give away. But here are a few links to sites that I've enjoyed:

-Free Albums Galore - A great site to find free and legal music to download. You probably won't know most of the artists. But discovering new music is frequently a joy in itself.

-All My Faves - You could do worse than using this as a start page. Quick links to many of the Internet's favorite stops, along with weekly surprises and new games. A surprisingly good time-waster.

-makeuseof.com - Exploring maven Aibek looks for cool websites, software, and other unique Internet freebies. Then he posts them daily. Need a particular program? You may just find it here.

Sorry there isn't more. But you're probably aware of the major players in such matters. These are some names you may not know.

Before I go, a special thanks to my "followers". You ladies have put up with a lot, more than most people should have to, and I do appreciate it. If I ever learn how, I'll become your follower, too. Thanks also to my regular readers [as always, you know who you are]. And, if you've just discovered this blog,

-Mike Riley [who also writes the blog lab, Challenging The Thunder, and Coming Out Of The Candy Store. Thanks for reading them, also]